Acknowledging the Pain: It’s Okay to Not Be Okay—But It’s Not Okay to Stay There

Life can be incredibly beautiful, but it can also be painfully difficult. As women, we often juggle countless responsibilities while quietly carrying wounds from past traumas, heartbreaks, and disappointments. In the struggle to keep it all together, society often pressures us to wear a mask of strength and composure. But what happens when the weight becomes unbearable? What do we do when life’s storms leave us feeling like we’re drowning?

The truth is, it’s okay to not be okay. Acknowledging your pain is not a sign of weakness but a necessary step toward healing. At the same time, it’s important to recognize that we’re not called to stay in the pain. There is hope, healing, and restoration waiting for us when we place our burdens in the hands of Jesus.

In this article, we’ll explore the importance of acknowledging pain, the role of safe spaces, and how God provides peace and strength in the midst of chaos.

Why Acknowledging the Pain is Crucial

Pain has a way of demanding attention. Ignored wounds don’t heal—they fester. When we suppress our pain, it often manifests in unhealthy ways, whether through anxiety, depression, physical illness, or strained relationships. Acknowledging the pain is not about dwelling on it but about facing it head-on so that healing can begin.

Think about Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. He didn’t hide His anguish. He openly expressed His sorrow, saying, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death” (Matthew 26:38). Jesus modeled what it means to be honest about pain. If the Son of God could acknowledge His suffering, so can we.

Acknowledging pain is not weakness—it’s courage. It’s the first step toward breaking free from its grip.

It’s Okay to Not Be Okay

We live in a culture that often glorifies busyness and perfection. Social media feeds are filled with highlight reels, leaving many women feeling inadequate and ashamed of their struggles. But here’s the truth: It’s okay to not be okay.

The Bible is full of stories of people who faced unimaginable pain—Hannah, who wept bitterly because of her infertility; David, who poured out his grief in the Psalms; and the woman with the issue of blood, who suffered for twelve long years. None of them were okay in their circumstances, but they all had one thing in common: They turned to God.

Jesus invites us to do the same. In Matthew 11:28, He says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Notice that He doesn’t say, “Come to me once you’ve figured everything out.” He invites us as we are—messy, broken, and overwhelmed.

It’s okay to admit that you’re struggling. It’s okay to cry out to God with your questions, doubts, and fears. But remember, while it’s okay to not be okay, it’s not okay to stay there. God’s desire is to bring you out of the pit and into His marvelous light.

The Importance of Safe Spaces

When walking through pain, having a safe space to process your emotions is vital. Safe spaces can take many forms—a trusted friend, a counselor, a support group, or a life coach who understands your journey.

Safe spaces provide:

• Validation: They remind you that your feelings are valid and that your experiences matter.

• Connection: They break the isolation that often accompanies pain.

• Encouragement: They help you take steps toward healing.

While human safe spaces are important, there is no safer space than the presence of God. Psalm 46:1 says, “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” In His presence, you are fully known and fully loved. You don’t have to pretend or hold anything back.

Casting Your Burdens on Jesus

One of the most comforting truths in Scripture is that we don’t have to carry our burdens alone. 1 Peter 5:7 tells us, “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.”

What does it mean to cast your burdens on Jesus? It means bringing your pain, worries, and fears to Him in prayer. It means trusting that He is big enough to handle it all.

Think about the disciples during the storm on the Sea of Galilee. They were terrified as the waves crashed around them, but Jesus stood and said, “Peace, be still” (Mark 4:39). The same Jesus who calmed the sea is with you in your storm. He is ready to bring peace to your chaos if you’re willing to trust Him.

God Can Handle Your Questions, Doubts, and Pain

One of the biggest barriers to healing is the belief that we have to approach God with perfect faith and confidence. But the Bible shows us otherwise.

The book of Psalms is filled with raw, honest prayers. David didn’t hold back his emotions. He questioned God, expressed his doubts, and poured out his pain. Yet, God called David a man after His own heart.

God is not intimidated by your questions or offended by your doubts. He welcomes your honesty because it brings you closer to Him. In your moments of pain, don’t be afraid to ask God, “Why?” or “How long, Lord?” He is big enough to handle it.

Moving from Pain to Peace

Acknowledging your pain is the first step, but healing doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a journey that requires intentionality, patience, and faith.

Here are some practical steps to help you move from pain to peace:

1. Seek God in Prayer Spend time in prayer, pouring out your heart to God. Be honest about what you’re feeling and ask Him for His peace and guidance.

2. Immerse Yourself in Scripture God’s Word is a source of comfort and hope. Meditate on verses like Psalm 46:1, Matthew 11:28, and Romans 8:28.

3. Surround Yourself with Support Don’t isolate yourself. Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or a life coach who can walk alongside you.

4. Take Care of Your Body and Mind Healing is holistic. Make time for rest, proper nutrition, and activities that nourish your soul.

5. Focus on Gratitude Even in the midst of pain, there is always something to be thankful for. Gratitude shifts your perspective and reminds you of God’s faithfulness.

6. Trust God’s Timing Healing doesn’t follow a set timeline. Trust that God is working behind the scenes, even when you don’t see it.

God is Your Refuge

When the storms of life threaten to overwhelm you, remember that God is your refuge. He is not a distant observer; He is an ever-present help in trouble.

Psalm 91:4 paints a beautiful picture of God’s care: “He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you will find refuge; His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.” Imagine the safety and comfort of being sheltered under His wings. That is the kind of refuge God offers you.

The Hope of Restoration

God’s desire is not just to comfort you in your pain but to restore and redeem it. He specializes in bringing beauty from ashes and turning mourning into dancing (Isaiah 61:3).

Your pain is not the end of your story. God can use it to shape you, strengthen you, and equip you to help others. As 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 reminds us, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”

A Final Encouragement

If you’re walking through a season of pain, know this: You are not alone. God sees you, hears you, and loves you more than you can imagine. He is your refuge, your strength, and your ever-present help.

Take heart and remember that it’s okay to not be okay—but it’s not okay to stay there. Healing is possible, and peace is within reach. Trust the One who calms the storm and holds you in His hands.

Your Next Step

Take a moment today to reflect on your pain. Write down your burdens, fears, and doubts. Then, in prayer, give them to Jesus. Trust Him to carry what you cannot.

If you’re in need of a safe space, reach out to someone who can walk alongside you on your journey—whether it’s a friend, a counselor, or a life coach. Healing doesn’t happen in isolation; it happens in community.

Above all, remember this: God is with you, and His love is greater than any storm you face. He is your refuge, your strength, and your peace. Let Him guide you from the pain into the fullness of life He has for you.

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