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From Bitterness to Victory: Embracing God's Plan for Your Life (Trail Marker #54)

We have been talking about the seven self-destructive habits that hold us back from experiencing victory in Christ. These have included shame, uncontrolled thoughts, compulsion, fear, and hopelessness. Today we will look at the impact bitterness has on our lives. Bitterness is a heavy burden to carry. It can poison our thoughts, lead to symptoms like fatigue, cause low self-confidence and difficulty forming healthy relationships. As a life coach dedicated to guiding women from victim to victory, I want to share some insights on overcoming bitterness and embracing the truth that God is in control, desires our success, and provides exactly what we need.


Understanding Bitterness


Bitterness often stems from unresolved pain and disappointment. When life doesn't go as planned, when we face betrayal or loss, it's easy to fall into a cycle of resentment and anger. But holding onto bitterness doesn't punish those who hurt us—it punishes us. It traps us in a prison of our own making. It will show up physically, mentally and spiritually. As a young child my bitterness began when I was told I was not planned. I felt unwanted and neglected. Another hurt was when I was in kindergarten where I was the only white person in the class. I faced discrimination and physical abuse. The bitterness was not against the Navajo people but towards those in the class. Sometimes bitterness is not based on a person but an experience. This could be the loss of a job, the death of a loved one, or a health diagnosis. 


God Is in Control


One of the most liberating truths is that God is sovereign. He is in control, even when our lives feel out of control. He will hold the perpetrator accountable for their actions. We are the apple of His eye. Scripture reminds us that when someone hurts a child it is as if they have hurt God. Releasing the thoughts we have for revenge removes the millstone from around our neck. In Proverbs 3:5-6, we are reminded, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." Trusting God means acknowledging that He sees the bigger picture and will be the judge and jury. 


God Wants Us to Succeed


God's desire is not to see us defeated but victorious. When we look at the story of Joseph, his brother’s betrayed him by selling him into slavery. God’s plan and purpose for Joseph was to help lead the country. God led Joseph to succeed. Jeremiah 29:11 assures us of this: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." God's plans are always for our ultimate good, even if the path to that good is difficult.


God Is Not Against You


Sometimes, in our darkest moments, we may feel that God is against us. When I experience sexual assault at the age of 16, I believed that God was against me. My thoughts were focused on lies that God wanted me to be abused. Praise God for individuals who opened up scripture to me to show me God’s character. I still pray for God to reveal even more of his character to me which removes the lies from my thoughts and replaces it with truth. Romans 8:31 tells us, "If God is for us, who can be against us?" God's love for us is unchanging and His presence is constant. He is our advocate, not our adversary.


God Gives Us What We Need


In times of struggle, it's crucial to remember that God equips us with everything we need to overcome. Philippians 4:19 promises, "And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus." Whether it's strength, wisdom, or peace, God provides abundantly.


God Works All Things for Good


Even the most painful experiences can be transformed by God's grace. Romans 8:28 reminds us, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Trusting in this promise allows us to let go of bitterness and embrace the hope of a better future.


Steps to Overcome Bitterness


  1. Develop a new way of looking at your past, present, and future. Journal how this resentment is affecting your life and how you can let go of the anger to live the life God created for you. Through journaling you may uncover your perceptions. My perception was God did not love me nor would He protect me. That is a false perception. We are now adults and able to keep ourselves safe. We know the value of our voice. This changes how our present and future will be. My perception of being unwanted by my parents was rational. So thankful that I was not a surprise to God. He will never leave me. He cherishes me and He cherishes you.

  2. Write down all of the things that you feel bitter about: Include the names of the people who have offended, neglected, or abused you. Be sure to include details why you are bitter about other people’s actions. This can often reveal your expectations that may be rational or may be irrational. Over the years I have used an Excel chart to detail the hurts in my life. Here is an example that you can use. 


3. Use your voice. Take time to write a letter to each person who has hurt you. Be specific on what the hurt was, how you feel and why. Take time rewrite it as you God reveals each hurt. One of the letters I have written is to the abuser from when I was a young child. I detailed how his actions affected my relationships and self-confidence. Remember do not send the letter. Instead read it out aloud to God, rip it up as a sign of letting it go. 


4. Start a new skill to help rid yourself from any negative energy. Examples would be kick boxing, taking an art class, writing poetry. These can help transform your mindset. 


5. Pray for those who have hurt you. Take time to pray that God will reveal the source of the bitterness along with asking Him what boundaries need to be set for healthy relationships. Start seeing other’s with the grace God has for them. 


6. Rewrite your story with a future without the negative impact of resentment. 


Embrace Victory


Moving from victim to victory is a journey, but it's one that God walks with us every step of the way. Embrace His promises, trust in His plans, and let go of bitterness. Remember, God is in control, He wants you to succeed, He is not against you, and He provides all you need. With God, all things are possible, and your victory is assured. Start this healing journey with one-on-one coaching. I provide a twelve week program guiding you from victim to victory. Learn more at: linktr.ee/beingrestoredtojoy 


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