Trail #25 Unearthing Memories: How Trauma Form Our Childhood Stories

Welcome to Embrace Joy - Walking the Road to Restoration. I'm your trail guide, Joy LoPiccolo, and on today's journey, we'll explore how experiences of trauma can influence the way we remember and describe our life histories.

Let's start by answering the question of how trauma impacts our memory of childhood events.

Trauma definitely has a profound effect on memory. When an individual experiences a traumatic event, the brain's response can be overwhelming. In the book “The Body Keeps Score” Bessel van der Kolk explains that the amygdala, a part of the brain responsible for processing emotions, becomes hyperactive. This can lead to fragmented, vivid, and sometimes intrusive memories. Often other details may be blurred or even repressed.

There are those that believe that trauma survivors can have false memories. Dan Allender, author of The Wounded Heart, explains that memories are colored by emotions which could lead to gaps and inconsistencies. However, this doesn't mean their memories are entirely unreliable. It's more like a puzzle with missing pieces.

Right now I have been creating a scrapbook to tell my life story which I hope will be read by my stepson and possible future generations. I hesitate to share these stories because I am noticing I still tend to think in black and white. This leads to remembering the trauma in vivid detail where the wonderful events are fuzzy. My focus is to concentrate on how the writing will benefit those who read it later.

Studies have shown that there are psychological benefits when we tell our story. It can help us embrace all of the events in our life including acknowledging our achievements. Even if you never share your story with another person, it can help you embrace your identity. Many years ago I took the time to create a scrapbook detailing my first marriage which ended due to multiple years of emotional abuse. It was cathartic and healing as I remembered all the good times and wrote about the freedom from abuse.

Our childhood is only one part of our life story. As C.S. Lewis says, “History is a story written by the finger of God.” When I made the decision to accept Christ as my Savior, my life took a very different path. God transformed my trauma into triumph, tests and trials into a testimony. His grace has allowed me to share the hope when you have a relationship with God. He is the one who needs to hold the pen to write your story. I love how David writes about his life story in Psalm 139:13-16

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."

You are a child of God. You are dearly loved. Your story is not insignificant. Your story is valid and worth sharing. It is my hope that this conversation has shed light on how trauma can affect our memories. Join me as we continue to walk this road to restoration.